sooooooooo yea exactl as title says...i am crushed...

college s not an easy thing to do or even think about...i think this weekend i did something tht was a bit braver then i am and required a lot more then i have...

i did portfolio day at ringling college -.-

for those of you that don't know about it...ringling is an art college in sarasota florida. its ok...i guess and portfolio day is a day that art students go and show their artwork to colleges from around the country or in some cases *cough couh parsons cough* the world.

well as ive mentioned i am a first year art student meaning i never got the chance that these people had with leaning since freshman year ( i am a senior) on how to draw and paint "correctly". i was not born with any talent i possess i learned because i wanted to :victory: i am very happy with my achievment thus far actually...but showing my artwork to colleges used to meeting seniors and juniors born and given experience in art i got crushed. part of me wants to stay away from art the other part however wants to keep going cuz it makes me happy. im not gonna quit all together and maybe i shouldnt have teken it as hard as i did but damn it hurt having people nit pick everything and i mean EVERYTHING

after 2 colleges i couldnt do anymore i went outside and waited for people to come back (it was a somewat weekend field trip it kicked ass cept for this one part) i was doing good not to cry cept wen my teacher asked how i did -.- i broke at that point and people saw me cry counldnt help it tho i am embarassed but meh ill live tho i could have done withut my teacher trying to make me feel better by saying "i should not have let you go see them it was a mistake." she was trying to be nice i am sure but at the same time damn -.-

anyways the rest of the weekend was fun tho this did dampen it a bit...

on top of all of this i miss reading -.- i kno it sounds nerdy but i love to read and no one NO ONE will bring me to the freakin library!!!

k yea so done with rant
have a good week